I Just Had to Have It
Theology in the Trenches By Kathleen Kjolhaug The round black coffee table had cool ridges uniting the circular portion which contained two hidden drawers. And, I liked it! The large area would be great for playing games with the grands, I thought, and it could double as a place to eat when larger crowds gathered. I walked into the store many a time admiring it. Perhaps a dash of that color in our home would be the decorative punch I needed. Winter had been long, and tucked away enough I had been.
Spring had officially sprung as bouquets of spring flowers burst forth with purchases as of late, and a phone call away was that new coffee table. I did the next right thing and dialed the number. “We can deliver it tomorrow at 10:15,” said the friendly voice upon the phone. I was ecstatic. Just to make sure, I asked for the measurements one final time, headed to the basement and cut out a circular piece of cardboard measuring forty-two inches in diameter. I knew it would be a bold move as the darkness of this piece had the potential to draw eyes down rather than lifting them up within our space. I was hoping the shift would be subtle.
The next day, a knock on the window was indicative that the coffee table had arrived. Excited I was as the two men carried the beautiful piece in and set it down upon our rug. Immediately, as suspected, my eyes were drawn to this piece now anchoring our living room. Out into the sea of flooring it went— and notice it you could not help but do.
“You have lots of space for it,” came the suggestion from each corner of the room. Not anymore, I thought as it appeared all of the space was now taken up by the big round black table. The little people who had run round that room enjoying their freedom, would now be able to leap upon the couch from the top of the table and who knew where they might land. One cannot confine the thoughts of a three-year-old with two brothers on either side.
I entered the room and reentered from many an angle. In the end, I simply said, “Take it back.” It didn’t look as I thought it would, and the generous store owners had told me from the start that if it didn’t work, they would load it up for a return trip.
The table is gone now. Back to the store it went. Funny thing is, I’m sure I’ll walk back in next week and admire the pretty round black coffee table that is awaiting a home—just not my home.
So, it goes. Sometimes we try to put a square peg into a round hole and it just doesn’t work. This time, it was a round peg into a square room and it just didn’t fit. It needed a wraparound couch in surround sound to tap into the beauty of it all and make it sing. The space in front of the couch was empty once again, and I knew what I had to do. I grabbed the long rough wooden bench, the bench my husband’s grandparents had at “the cabin” which held many a memory for him, and plopped it directly in front of the couch where it had been serving as a coffee table of sorts for the past year.
“Did you return it because you knew that bench meant something to me?” was the question posed amidst the silence now hanging in the room. It was then that Psalm 34:7 spoke. “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he shall give you the desires of our heart.”
As I reflected, I knew someone else would soon own the beautiful table for their space of grace. Ours was to be filled with memories needing to be honored, and unbeknownst to me, that was the deeper desire of my heart as well. Amen.
