Influential Women
Theology in the Trenches By Kathleen Kjolhaug The pic snapped at random years back captured much. Front and center, was mom. It was my wedding day and the smile upon her face as well as the tears in her eyes indicated her love bubbling right on out of her. Behind mom stood Mrs. Domeier, a lady whom I’d not only visited often while growing up, but had watched closely as she lived life in our neighborhood. Mom had tenderly encouraged that relationship as we lived just two doors over and now. A little further back in the pic was my soon to be mother-inlaw. As I reflect back, it was these three women who had much influence on my life. Not all moments need be caught on film, but taking time to appreciate this quick pic was worthy of note.
Not all notes are worthy as I remember bringing one home from school one day. An incident had transpired. I was in second grade, and there was a spelling test that had been given. The problem wasn’t the test. The problem was that I did not get 100% on the test. Well, that wasn’t exactly the problem either—as I only got two wrong. However, if you got either one wrong or 100%, you could choose to sit anywhere you wanted in the room and basically oust another from their seat. That’s right! One could move clear across the classroom and find yourself sitting amidst a pile of new friends—and that sounded like a pile of fun! That’s when the trouble began. Blame Adam and Eve all you want, but when the teacher asked who would be able to move desks, I raised my hand. Not only did I raise my hand but I pulled hard on the arm of the one who had corrected my test as he was about to tattle. Mom not only received a note home from the teacher that day, but carefully guarded my heart. She did not shame by bringing it up for family discussion, but spoke privately in quiet tones. To this day, I am most grateful for the due dignity mom gave, and to my teacher who loved me enough to call me to be who God created me to be by helping to form my young conscience.
As I moved on to my teen years, I remember not really wanting to receive mom’s love at times. In fact, I didn’t’ want to be seen with her or to be near her at this stage of the game. The communication was often rocky, and I sort of stayed connected with my friends far more than with mom. I am thankful for this photo as it reminds me how deeply I was loved and how she allowed stages of growth to take place without withholding her love from me. In other words, mom gave grace.
The third person in the pic, my mother-in-law, would go on to love not only each of our six children, but their children as well. She helped grow each of their hearts and for this, I will be forever grateful.
If someone were to read a story which would include all who touched our lives—we’d see the layers of all who helped to hold the pieces together along its journey. Being aware of those who gave input is one thing, but it’s a whole other thing to be grateful for it. Sometimes, it’s not until they have passed, which all three ladies now have, that we can truly receive that which was meant as gift. Grateful for my mom, grateful for Mrs. Domeier, and grateful for my mother-in-law I am. And when I pause, I can list a whole pile of others who have deeply influenced my life and to whom I will be forever grateful. May we allow those who are in our paths to know, in no uncertain terms, that they are not only loved, but appreciated. May we never miss an opportunity to make it known to the other just how much we appreciate those who choose to lavish love upon us.
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1a). Amen.
